Quand Fatouma explique le ramadan à Mary

                    
                                          


Hello my friend Mary

How are you ? You are well if God wills. How is your family and the mother of your friend ? She has put her feet in cold water since ? If I were you, I'd put her into the heavy. You know, that kind of people don't deserve we waste our time with. That what I did with a so-called friend of mine who betrayed my trust. The other day, I met her at the hairdresser. She said good morning, (she said it in arabic, she is blue in english). I answered her beacuse it's Ramadan otherwise I would have ignored her. I don't want to have problems with God. My earthly problems are enough for me.

You aren't without knowing that it's Ramadan in the muslim countries. Ramadhan is the 9th month of the islamic calendar. We don't know when it begins and when it ends. It depends on the moon.

A whole month during wich, from sunrise unil sunset, we don't eat, we don't drink and we put a cross (not the cross of the Christ) on all kinds of physical relations or unhealthy thinking. We have to behave like saints.
It's a tough test for many of us.

Imagine a human being living in a big city, under a burning sun, among people deprived of food, water, nicotine and chéma (I don't know the name in english. It's a kind of tobacco men, and women also, put in the mouth) !

Fastnig is obligatory  from when we reach puberty until we die. If we get sick, we are free not to observe it, but we have to make up the days missed when we get better. It's like when you borrow money from a bank: it lends you money, you have to repay the loan. You have nothing for nothing.

Are free not to observet the fasting, people who travel even thouh they don't travel by camel, pregnant women, seriously ill persons (not like that girl who didn't fast because of her finger). Despite this, there are people playing with their health, they fast until they fall in the apples.

During this month, we eat more than we starve. We eat with our eyes then with what our stomach needs.That's why after eating, we can't move.

It's the month of prayer, solidarity and sharing even though there are eleven other months to do so. It doesn't mean that people are not solidary and sharing during these months, it's just that they forget about it, they have other cats to whip. God only knows that there are many cats in our streets !

In the last ten days, there is a special night called Night of Destiny. This night, God is very generous with us, forgives our sins and our prayers are fulfilled. I'll pray for you and for your family so we can be in the same paradise, friends for eternity.

As you can read, God loves us, unfortunately the Devil tries to create problems between Him and us.

Mary my dear friend, excuse the spelling and language errors. You know I'm not good in english, it's worse now that I fast.
I stop massacring your beautiful language.

I hope to read you soon.
Kisses to all the family.

Fatouma

P.S : I apologize for last time, it's not "ablation of the balls", as I wrote in my e-mail, I meant "ablation des amygdales'", I should have written "ablation of the tonsils".

 

 

 

Pas de courgette anglaise !

I went to the vegetable market to buy potatoes and courgettes. I politely asked the greengrocer :
- Can  I have one kilo potatoes and half a pound courgettes, please.
- You can have all the vegetables you need for your meal, beauty

Wach djab beauty in the middle?
hold your respect, madabik

- Here one kilo potatoes. What else, lovely ?

Beauty, lovely, wach tani ?
moumou doll !

- Half a pound  courgettes, please.
- Half what ?

Half your brain,
yal latrach !

- Courgettes.
- What's that ?

C'est une bouteille
we eat !

- It's a green vegetable which ressembles the cucucombre.
- You mean cucucumber.

Hadi hiya Q.Q
with cherry tomatoes !

- Yes, cucum... cucucumber. Can I have half a pound ?
- Of cucucumbers ?
- No, of the vegetable that looks like cu cu cumber.

Nendeb 
my cheeks !

- I see.You mean zucchini.

Wach qal ?
nothing, don't try to understand !

- Yes, I think it's that.
- Sorry baby. No zucchinis today, but I have cucucumber.

Yssawed
your destiny !

- Ok. Give me half a pound.
- We don't use that currency.

Wach ?
Repeat, repeat you see !

- I know what you use here. What's the problem ?
- You have a problem, cuty. Do you know where you are ?

Pray on Mohamed
yal li tefham bel lambout !

- I know where I am. Thank you for asking. But  you, you couldn't guess that I meant half a kilo.
- Easy,  mylady, here one kilo for free.

A là là  wal banana !
Que faire with one kilo cucomber... euh... comcuber... zmar,   khiar !

Quand Fatouma envoie un e-mail à Mary

My dear friend Mary

How are you ? How is your family ? Everyone is feeling good, if God will.
Here, all the world is fine, with health and peace, thanks God.

I don't know if  I told you, in my last mail that the girl of my sister marries next month with a man who has a lot.
They met each other in the metro when they were entring home after a long  busy day of work.

When they marry, she will live with her beautiful family. Her future old woman is very kind, the future old man also. But, the sister of her future husbund is a little false and likes fighting.
After the wedding, the couple is going to France to spend their honing moon at her uncle's  who lives with his family in an  apartment in Saint Michel, in Paris, in France.
She doesn't have yet the visum but we know somebody who knows somebody who works at the embassy of France, he will help her to get one very soon, for only two millions dinars.
If you don't know somebody, it will cost  you the skin of your behind.


Her future husbund has demanded she put a scarf on her head. It's not because her hair is not beautiful, it's beacause  the religion that says  women must cover  theit hair and their body because men can get excited and women will go hell, sometimes , even though they don't intentionally excite men. They pay painfully for the weakness. of men.. God knows best.

Here, we play with everything but we don't play with the religion.We take it seriously with fear because we want to be sure to have a place in heaven so we enjoy all the forbidden things some  we can't to do now . It's our price of obedience.

The wedding will take place next month in a room of parties at Daddy H'ssan.You are invited you and your family. It will be a pleasure to look at you again, it has been a long time I did not see you.


For the party, his father is going to kill the husbund of the cow (I don't know his name in english). It's a tradition to kill him when we are happy. Some kill a sheep or a camel. It's a funny day, everybody is happy except the persons with a bad background and hate heart. They can't bear to see other people happy.
These persons will also go to hell, their place is already reseved there.  May God keep  them far away from us.

I already have bought the dresses for the party. One for the henna and one for the  wedding party. It was difficult to find a dress not showing a lot of my skin. I look forward to have them on so my secret kan see me. He is invited too. .
I will talk about him in my nexte mail. I have to go to the living room to watch a film with my family. Its title is  "Omar she kills him". It's an old algrerian funny film.
It's a tradtion  at home, to watch an old  movie once a month. Last month, we did'nt see one because my father and my brother did not agree. My father wanted to see a film with "Ali the tip" (you know our hero who was killed by the French when he was hidding under the sink with Omar and Hassiba), and my brother wanted to see a movie with Will Smith. So my mother got angry and chased all of us from the living room.

I leave you in good health between God's hand, and I wish you a good evening with your little family.

I kiss you
Fatouma your friend